Last Update: November 22nd, 2010
News stories often focus on what has gone wrong in the lives of children raised in the foster care system. The Aylesworth family of Bloomfield Hills is an example of how fine foster care and adoption can have a positive impact on lives of the most vulnerable children in society.
In April 2010, the Aylesworths received the Judge Joan E. Young Foster Parent Award. “We weren't sure about this. In our family, we don't believe in being rewarded or getting recognition for doing the right thing,” Catherine Aylesworth said.
Bill and Catherine Aylesworth have raised their own three biological children and are raising their eight adopted children who began as foster children.
“We have adopted siblings,” Catherine said. “It is so important to keep them together. We sometimes refer to the children as ‘homemade' and ‘hand-picked.' All of the children have close ties to one another.”
The children range in age from 7 to 31. Four are currently in college, two in high school and two in elementary school.
One of their adopted children wrote in supporting their nomination for the Young Award, “A paragraph is an insufficient amount of space to describe what an impact my parents have had on us. They never hold us back, but let us explore the world and see all of its possibilities. My parents are our guiding lights when obstacles and failures darken the roads to our dreams. They mentor us, but they also give us unconditional love when we make mistakes. Ultimately, they show us the real meaning of family instead of society's definition. ... I can't imagine a world without them. I don't want to. Not only should they win this award because they are wonderful patents, but because they are the only people I know that can raise five loving and successful teenagers all at the same time.”
“I like to be totally involved in what they do,” Bill said. “Each night at dinner, we go around the table and each person talks about events of his or her day. This helps us be involved and supportive of one another.
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“The Boy Scout program closely reflects our goals of self-sufficiency and service. Three of our boys have become Eagle Scouts and have given hundreds of hours of service to the community. At our church, Kirk in the Hills, it is like a village of many people caring about and taking an interest in the kids.”
The Aylesworths have well-defined rules and procedures. An example of this is seating in the car, which goes by age. The younger ones know that as they become the oldest, they will have the choice seat. All of these rules are lovingly designed to promote kind, responsible behaviors. “Always be enthusiastic and look for opportunities to praise others' character” and “Always use manners and be respectful of others and their belongings” are two of the rules.
The Aylesworths have a core belief that all children are good and want to do well. “These kids who come into foster are blameless and guiltless,” Catherine said. “They didn't want to get into these situations of abuse and neglect. They need someone to care and eventually to love them. There should not be any kid in Michigan without a home. We should be able to do that.”
LEADERSHIP ROLES
These beliefs have led the Aylesworths to provide leadership in recruiting foster parents and providing mentoring for foster parents. They also are leaders in the Faith Communities Coalition for Foster Care organization, which is part of the Save Our Children Coalition sponsored by the University of Michigan-Dearborn School of Education.
The Faith Communities for Foster Care is working to educate and motivate congregations to support at least one project or program to support a foster child, family or aging out youth. Social service agencies are partners in this effort. A major concern is the large population of youth aging out of foster care.
“At age 18, these youth are on their own. We need to have a safety net for them. They are our most invisible and vulnerable children,” said Rev. Kate Thoresen, leader of the coalition. “They are at greater risk for homelessness, unemployment, illness, early parenthood, incarceration and welfare dependency. They need mentors and people who care about them. Our goal is to have faith communities become involved.”
Individuals and congregations may contact Thoresen at (248) 643-8373 to obtain information and become involved.
Diane K. Bert is a free-lance writer and former educator. She lives in Bloomfield Township.
Source: http://www.hometownlife.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=201011140353
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